This reflection is based on 6 years of having Bonnie as my teacher. It is a culmination of trials, tribulations, exhilarations and defeats all seasoned with good measure of self doubt. Bonnie has provided me a mirror that reflects with the utmost precision exactly that which needed tuning in my horsemanship. I am not commenting on this to praise Bonnie but to highlight where I think as my teacher, she has provided me the greatest value.
An example of this type of value would be something that happened to me this week. One of my current horses is a challenge for me. While the other two horses I have started personally, this one, I had only worked with some in order to get her ready for another rider to start in Bucks clinic. She has over the course of the last 7 years, maybe not had the best handling. She had a 2 bad starts, one where she bucked her rider off, and one where she spooked, and spun the saddle under her. She lacks confidence that the human will look out for her. She has found, she can think for herself, and in the case of anything that looks suspicious she will “check out”.
There were two things that cropped up this last week. One is anytime I went to pick up the bit she would get busy in her mouth and get her tongue over the bit piece. This of course was noticed by Bonnie during our lesson. The other is, we have recently started to go to some cattle working clinics. Her instinct is to run and spook at almost everything in the new arena with me. Its less about riding and more about damage control. Yet I knew I had seen Bonnie ride her, and she appeared to me to move with some confidence. What oh what was I missing??
A couple of weeks ago, dinking around at the stable I played a game with her (Emma). I placed my hands behind my back, and put a piece of carrot in one. Then I held both hands up to her and waited until she tapped a hand with her nose. If she tapped the correct hand, she received a piece of carrot. Over the course of about 2 minutes, I soon found that by emotion alone, I could direct her. If she started to go for the wrong hand, I would think “ no, go for the other one “, and she would! This opened a very big door in my mind. The horse could sense, without me even being on her, my feelings. Now what if I was on her, and I was feeling tense, unsure or on edge. Even through I was trying to fake it by trying to relax my body and doing mantras, I realized then she would know the difference. If there was going to be any hope for me, I would have to “Be” relaxed.
A couple of weeks ago, dinking around at the stable I played a game with her (Emma). I placed my hands behind my back, and put a piece of carrot in one. Then I held both hands up to her and waited until she tapped a hand with her nose. If she tapped the correct hand, she received a piece of carrot. Over the course of about 2 minutes, I soon found that by emotion alone, I could direct her. If she started to go for the wrong hand, I would think “ no, go for the other one “, and she would! This opened a very big door in my mind. The horse could sense, without me even being on her, my feelings. Now what if I was on her, and I was feeling tense, unsure or on edge. Even through I was trying to fake it by trying to relax my body and doing mantras, I realized then she would know the difference. If there was going to be any hope for me, I would have to “Be” relaxed.
The question is how does one become relaxed on a rocket? A rocket that has spun out from under you and has caused you to land in the hard-pack resulting in bruised body and shaken ego? This is where Bonnie expertise and encouragement helped me learn in my own ability. By being able to ride your horse, at whatever gait they give you, by having experience at them twisting and turning under you, at speed is what builds your confidence. This confidence is translated through the rider to the horse. Bonnie spent one entire lesson teaching me to trust myself. To face that demon of speed where you ride the edge of chaos and control.
At the cattle clinic I had to give Emma the opportunity to make the right decision, which was to hang out and be relaxed. I had to trust in my ability to ride her in case she made the wrong decision. So while we were waiting our turn to cut the calves, I let the reins go loose and I sat low in the saddle. Everything about me was saying, " Hey Emma, just hang out, and enjoy the sun, there is nothing to worry about". If she decided she could not be let down and relaxed and she needed to check out, I would be there to close that door. Yet I had to trust her, and let her make decisions. That was the key, letting the horse decided and not forcing anything. I was making the right thing easy by having everything about me say : "We are cool, we are super cool", instead of being uptight, and concerned. In this way I was helping her build her confidence in me. There were several times where she would start to snort, or get erect and concerned. When she did this I just ignored her, not in the negative sense, but I did not let my attention get focused on her, or on what she was worried about. We rode the entire day, with no blow ups. She was able to take in the world, and stay between my hands and legs. Anyone watching us, would have no idea of our past, they would see only this solid cowpony.
At the cattle clinic I had to give Emma the opportunity to make the right decision, which was to hang out and be relaxed. I had to trust in my ability to ride her in case she made the wrong decision. So while we were waiting our turn to cut the calves, I let the reins go loose and I sat low in the saddle. Everything about me was saying, " Hey Emma, just hang out, and enjoy the sun, there is nothing to worry about". If she decided she could not be let down and relaxed and she needed to check out, I would be there to close that door. Yet I had to trust her, and let her make decisions. That was the key, letting the horse decided and not forcing anything. I was making the right thing easy by having everything about me say : "We are cool, we are super cool", instead of being uptight, and concerned. In this way I was helping her build her confidence in me. There were several times where she would start to snort, or get erect and concerned. When she did this I just ignored her, not in the negative sense, but I did not let my attention get focused on her, or on what she was worried about. We rode the entire day, with no blow ups. She was able to take in the world, and stay between my hands and legs. Anyone watching us, would have no idea of our past, they would see only this solid cowpony.
The other issue I had was with her getting her tongue over the bit. Bonnie recommended that I tie the bit up, yet I wanted to figure out what I was doing that was causing the issue. So over the course of the day riding her, I worked on my feel. How much pressure I was putting on her to get the soft feel, before I released, and before she started moving her mouth. I know, its about the release, and the timing in the release. Once I knew I was able to get the soft feel without any brace in her, then I knew I had to work on my timing. The question of how soft is soft. A butterflies wing, a breeze, this is how much pressure I was applying. In a few moments I was able to find out that if I applied to much pressure, she started working her mouth. I was able to get to a point where I could get the soft feel, without her getting busy in her mouth. These were the eyes and the sense of timing that Bonnie has helped me develop. Bonnie was able to notice the problem, and she has taught me to learn how to work from where the horse needs me to be in order to find a solution.
This is an ongoing journey for me. I am thankful that I have people like Bonnie and her teacher Buck in my life to help me learn. Bonnie is not only my teacher but my inspiration. It is through her that I am learning to communicate with the horse on a level that goes beyond the aids. To develop a partnership and a willingness in the horse to a point that their feet become my feet, and their will becomes an extension of my own. This is the Unity and the beautiful dance between horse and human.
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